Loading...Don’t worry; I’m not here to judge you for reading my 9vids.com review but to let you know if this site deserves your hard-earned time. I know you pretend that calling someone ‘step’ makes it okay, but I’m not here to talk about that because I fully understand.
Why pass up a chance to tap that perfectly rounded bum when you have all the time in the world together with this person? It always begins as a mistake: “Oops, we got stuck together,” but your questionable taste in smut is not a mistake now. I am here to see if your forbidden delight is valid, so let’s get right into it.
Taboo Fantasies Unleashed
Some porn sites are built to fulfill your deepest, darkest desires and others are built to test your will to live. This site falls firmly into the second category. You are greeted at the homepage by a black layout that makes funeral pamphlets so inspiring. Minimalism is great when done right, but this site isn’t minimalist; it is just empty. It is so basic that it looks like a default WordPress template that someone forgot to finish. The background is plain black with the site name in uninspired font on the title bar. It has the enthusiasm of a teenager who just discovered basic HTML. Despite this, I pressed forward.
You’ll find a search icon beside a drop-down menu button at the far right of the title bar. Click it, and you are greeted with their playlist of videos: newest, popular, most viewed, longest, or random. With this, you’d think you are at the headquarters of smut until you see the short list of categories available: mother, daughter, sibling, aunt, amateur. There’s an upload option also on the menu where you are allowed to share unspeakable content with the world, but you cannot upload video files of more than 2 GB. Be sure that the upload does not violate their terms of service, or it will be taken down.
A Parade of the Unholy
Once you scroll through the site’s lack of personality, you are hit with a parade of thumbnails that carry interesting titles. They promise excitement, but they are the kind of titles that make you pause and wonder how we got here as a society. Each thumbnail comes with details like the number of views, number of likes, and video duration, which is nice, I guess. Once you see the thumbnails, it is guaranteed that your reckless abandonment of self-respect will make you click on one. What happens when you click?
Click play, and the buffering wheel chooses to keep you company for eternity, never giving up. I’m starting to think the wheel is the main content here. Touch any part of the screen while watching, and the video pauses; replaying it takes another round of buffering. Skipping ahead? That will be your next mistake on this site. Once you tap that bar, the video gives up on life and forces you to wait another 30 years for it to load. If you find a part of the video intriguing, record it in your mind, bro, because rewinding is like summoning a demon; you never know what kind of chaos will unfold. There is a playback speed regulating button; at least, you can double the speed to compensate for the time lost in buffering.
The Real Horror show
After enduring this cursed experience, you would think there was a comment section where you could share your suffering with fellow viewers but you are left with close up videos of hairy pussies and cum filled faces calling you out. Of course, without comments and ratings, there is no way to tell if a video is worth the battle against buffering and pop-ups. You are alone in this struggle, my friend, just you, the buffering wheel, and the shame of your choices. There is a contact button at the end of the page, where you’ll find a form where you can fill in your name, email, subject, and complaint. Good. I have a lot to say, first, I should ask who chose this site’s design.
Before you even think of clicking on a video, the ads assault you. Either a close up graphic images of a gaped ass with cum seeping out, or a floating banner ad flashing like it was designed to trigger seizures; every action on this site is met with another barrage of ads. Watching anything on this site is an endurance test, and only the upload feature is seamless because, of course, content has to be put up; otherwise, how will bills be paid? The navigation can’t be hard; even with my eyes closed, I’ll find my way around. That is the advantage of an inexperienced site designer, I guess. The video quality is a gamble. Click on one, and you are seeing all the details in 4K; and click on another that looks like it was shot with a potato in 1990.
